i love you, fleshlight fucker.

Anonymous: What was losin your virginity like?

it felt like somebody was pinching the inside of my vagina and then it felt weird and then it was over and i wrote about it in my journal






getting drunk on geometry

getting drunk on geometry

hashtagfeelingblessed: I cannot wait for the day when we are just two troglodytes spending every minute together. I just want to be in the presence of your callipygian figure for eternity.

i’ll desperately miss our cathartic phone sex and movie date nights once the hermiting begins ;( but i guess the real life megalodick will be worth it. getting my butt squeezed would be nice, too.