i have the best lover out of everyone even though he gets on my nerves at least once a day

Anonymous: how do you have phone sex in a house full of people?

the intimate details of my phone sex struggles are nobody’s business but my own

EVERYTHING IS OKAY AND I’M HEALTHY AND FULL OF LIFE AND HAPPINESS

hashtagfeelingblessed: I love you and I am sorry I cannot phone sex you right this second, because there is a fully clothed drunk bearded man laying on my sofa forcing me to watch Anchorman 2 with him.

it’s okay, i’m sleeping upside down and there’s a middle-aged woman passed out in my bed on top of your blue pillow. i still love you and i wish you were snoring heavily into the phone like a congested banshee ;(

this is some serious bullshit happening on true blood who even wrote this lameass finale

vag sand castles

i’m so in lube with you and 76.2% happy to be alive and just MEH

hashtagfeelingblessed:

I’m in so much lube. lightbones

you’re the only thing i look forward to every day

felinophilia

felinophilia

if you were to peel a person’s skin off there would be nothing attractive about them anymore

you make me ~ f e e l t h i n g s ~